So it's a quiet night. Wife and the little one are out with some friends, and I just back from watching Skyfall. Babygirl has started to sing and anyone that truly knows me know that my music tastes are completely eclectic. Be interesting where she goes with hers. God knows I'm showing her all kinds.
Once I was able to get out from the dark shadows known as my childhood, I really developed a passion for music. Not a like, nor a love. It is a passion - a neverending always burning desire that saturates my very being. You see I just don't hear music, I feel it. As Nicholas' character said in a Few Good Men, i feel it "down in deep dark places where no one likes to talk about it."
One of the groups I have come to love is DMB (Dave Matthews Band). And while their stuff from the 2000's is okay, I've really come to love some of their older stuff. When they'd just jam. Funny thing is I remember when they were big, and I couldn't stand them - go figure. Yeah i'm late getting on that train. LOL.
Anyway everytime I hear them I can't help think of JID. He's an old roommate from back in the day, and one i seriously undervalued at the time. I've hesitated to blog about this. I was afraid, and still am so, over "over romantizing" (if that's even a word) that time period of my life. Looking back on it, wow, I' just wish i'd embraced it much more. But i supposed it's easier to say that once you've find the love of your life. Back then i was just hoping to get a date, let alone laid.
But i was still finding my way and I regret that i didn't appreciate him more - probably is i was trying to impress him too much rather than being myself. And as with many friendships, time, responsibility and other factors, well we've lost touch. And it's too bad - because he was great. I'm sure if you had asked he'd find someway to say some nice things about me. But the truth is, I was an ass. A pompous arrogant ass who had no clue how ignorant i really was. Funny thing is, i thought i was doing the right thing. Why is it we finally get it right after they're gone?
Today life is much more normal than it was back then. After some serious counseling, i finally pulled through. Now I'm married, with a great home. And i love my life. Yet i find myself from time to time (such as tonight) reflecting on those days. Remembering the nights watching DMB's older concerts and wondering what the hell he saw in them. Or his discussions on Kerouac or modern day Christianity.
You see, JID was just cool. To me he was one of my true friends. He saw me at some tough times and at hard as it must have been, encouraged me and always gave me another perspective with a kind word rather than a judgmental glance. I realized life was a lot bigger than my fears and the biggest regret is that i didn't see it sooner so that i could have enjoyed his friendship more. I learned alot from him.
As she always does, time encourages us to move on. When the cool rolls in at evening time, I think of those nights in front of the wood stove swapping ideas - trying to see how how i could make the stove :) An intellectual conversation with him was like eating at the proverbial mental buffet. Just awesome and refreshing. Yeah i know, i'm sure that english reference is completely wrong :)
So Jid, wherever you are man - thanks. I truly am indebted to you.
Once I was able to get out from the dark shadows known as my childhood, I really developed a passion for music. Not a like, nor a love. It is a passion - a neverending always burning desire that saturates my very being. You see I just don't hear music, I feel it. As Nicholas' character said in a Few Good Men, i feel it "down in deep dark places where no one likes to talk about it."
One of the groups I have come to love is DMB (Dave Matthews Band). And while their stuff from the 2000's is okay, I've really come to love some of their older stuff. When they'd just jam. Funny thing is I remember when they were big, and I couldn't stand them - go figure. Yeah i'm late getting on that train. LOL.
Anyway everytime I hear them I can't help think of JID. He's an old roommate from back in the day, and one i seriously undervalued at the time. I've hesitated to blog about this. I was afraid, and still am so, over "over romantizing" (if that's even a word) that time period of my life. Looking back on it, wow, I' just wish i'd embraced it much more. But i supposed it's easier to say that once you've find the love of your life. Back then i was just hoping to get a date, let alone laid.
But i was still finding my way and I regret that i didn't appreciate him more - probably is i was trying to impress him too much rather than being myself. And as with many friendships, time, responsibility and other factors, well we've lost touch. And it's too bad - because he was great. I'm sure if you had asked he'd find someway to say some nice things about me. But the truth is, I was an ass. A pompous arrogant ass who had no clue how ignorant i really was. Funny thing is, i thought i was doing the right thing. Why is it we finally get it right after they're gone?
Today life is much more normal than it was back then. After some serious counseling, i finally pulled through. Now I'm married, with a great home. And i love my life. Yet i find myself from time to time (such as tonight) reflecting on those days. Remembering the nights watching DMB's older concerts and wondering what the hell he saw in them. Or his discussions on Kerouac or modern day Christianity.
You see, JID was just cool. To me he was one of my true friends. He saw me at some tough times and at hard as it must have been, encouraged me and always gave me another perspective with a kind word rather than a judgmental glance. I realized life was a lot bigger than my fears and the biggest regret is that i didn't see it sooner so that i could have enjoyed his friendship more. I learned alot from him.
As she always does, time encourages us to move on. When the cool rolls in at evening time, I think of those nights in front of the wood stove swapping ideas - trying to see how how i could make the stove :) An intellectual conversation with him was like eating at the proverbial mental buffet. Just awesome and refreshing. Yeah i know, i'm sure that english reference is completely wrong :)
So Jid, wherever you are man - thanks. I truly am indebted to you.
