On the Cusp of Christmas 2014

Dear Readers,

First off, I wanted to say a hearty hello to you all out there, wherever you are and whomever you may be.  I find myself of particularly sound mind and good spirits this Saturday evening.  The kids watching Despicable Me and laughing until their sides hurt.  So I'll just make some tea and write.

My home is happier this year.  I've got the wood stove and Matt Robinson to thank for that.  It was wonderful to see my wife last night pause and look at the living room with a beam on her face.  My wife has suffered much, as so many have.   The how is not important, just that she has passed through that and is enjoying life now.  I must confess it brings a warm feeling to my heart to see finally her so happy.

The other day I was perusing my facebook page.  I'll tell you that I'm not a big fan of it, don't live on it, and by all means I don't put everything on it that I'm feeling or thinking.  I suppose I'd rather live life in the moment, oftentimes away from social media.  I wanted to enjoy it rather than preoccupy myself with the right picture the right title, or impressing the viewer/reader.

But this caught my eye and I had to read it.  Many of you are familiar with the rules, a poster which explains how men are wrong and women are right.  This one was quite different as it explained the different in thought processes between men and women.  You can read it here.  Now, I'm not a stereotype. I definitely don't appreciate men being made out into neanderthals, nor the downgrading of the female sex either.

So it was refreshing to see the different communication styles/thought process explained so well.   I loved and thought it was spot on.  I mean that's how I think.  Whatever box I'm dealing with, that's my only box. As I've grown older, I've improved on my abilities of quickly switching between boxes but for the most part I have one box at a time, and give my absolute all to it in the moment. In fact there have been a few older boxes I've looked at and dealt with.

These boxes, well they go back years.  I've contemplated, written about them and come to terms with them.  I don't bring them out but on a very rare occasion.  These are boxes which are settled, taped and sealed with the utmost care.  Not because I refuse to open them, simply there's no need.  The items in these boxes have been laid to rest sometime ago.  As time wore one, I'd forgotten about what exactly was in there, so it was quite refreshing to see those old friends once again.  However, as I resealed the box, I wondered if I'd ever open them again.

I'm constantly reminded about how well life is right now.  Among the trials of life, I am so truly blessed.  Not always easy, but I'm so grateful for all I've been blessed with, and grateful that there are no more only nights, crying yourself to sleep, or wondering where the next meal comes from.   No, there is only laughter pealing down the hall, the crackling of firewood on the stove, and the smell of fresh hot tea on this cold winter's night.

If you've not done it yet today, grab your children and loved ones tight.  Look them straight in the eyes, and with sincerity and all the love can muster, tell them how much you love them - and make sure to smile :)

Here's wishing you a Happy weekend :)

The little stove that could . . . did!

Dear Friends,

Been a while since I've posted.  Not that I haven't thought about it.  It's just that we've been too busy having fun.  About a month after my last post, we went on vacation to Virginia.  Sunny skies and warmer water waited us there.  Not to mention a gorgeous hotel, a friendly Starbucks staff, and a fun aquarium :)

If you've read any of my previous posts, you'll remember the House that Love Built.  Well after much debate, we decided to give it another go this year.  The idea was to allocate enough money for oil each month.  After all, it is a great house, we have a fantastic landlord, and the yard is HUGE (not having to rake the leaves might have something to do with that:))

That was the initial plan, until I was talking with a buddy of mine from work.  We kicked the idea around of installing a fan system to help circulate the air from the fireplace.  Somehow between Craigslist and Ebay, we hatched another plan.   What we did end up doing was converting the fireplace with a wood stove shown here:

The price was a steal, along with the other hardware.  Thing that amazed me was how hard it was to remove some of the internal brickwork - they sure knew how to make fireplaces to last.  Ended up renting a mini jackhammer of sorts and it made quick work of things . . .

Off to dinner!

P.S.  I know this is shorter than others - don't worry, I've got a few more topics percolating.  Until then!

In the End . . . .

I'm not a big TV watcher.  In fact, over the last 5-6 years, I've come to enjoy more as background noise, then for it's content.  Granted I'll watch the weather channel religiously when it comes to bad weather.  And there's a few shows I love, but just a few (Elementary, Sherlock, Big Bang Theory, 2 Broke Girls, and HIMYM).

I never watch a show from the pilot though.  Not sure why, but I'm usually a little behind the times when coming to new shows.  Guess I don't want to waste time on things I'm not going to enjoy and want to see if the shows going to hang around for a while.  Once I find that I like them, though, I'll watch them over and over and over again.

First time I can remember was Friends.  In fact, I didn't watch the show until it was almost off the air.  The few shows I did I like, and ended up buying the 1st 6 seasons.  And I remember when the finale was on.   Parties were scheduled, groups of real life friends got to together and watched it on a big screen.  I watched it again when rewatching the seasons (again and again :), and thought the producers did a good job with it.

HIMYM was very much the same.  I think I started watching in the 3rd or 4th season. During the summer, I always anticipated the following season .  Felt like I connected with Ted the most - and I suppose that is the allure of shows like this.  It is a representation (I hope) of the friendships we have or have had in the past.

I suppose the ending is one you either love or hate.  For my part, I'd liked it.  Because it was real.  Death, and changes in life's path are part of it all.  With life, while there are going to be great and awesome times, there will also be those where you feel you are barely making it.  Fights that last longer than you want, hurts that go so deep.

I read an article about one of the creators whose life this is based on.  Mention of the show brought tears to his eyes, because it was his reality . .  .  Sigh great show.  Ted and all, you will be missed.

Beautiful Weather Good times . . .

Love this music.  Discovered it while leveling in North rend, as so many in the Warcraft Universe have done.  I could just sit and listen to this forever.  It's amazing how far technology has come since the days of the Commodore 64.  Remember those days, too. Hours of playing World Games, trying to master the ole Caber Toss . . .

Today received a wonderful care package from Mom.  My most favorite part wasn't the gift card (although that's going to be used quickly) or the clothes for the kids.  Nope, favorite part was seeing the book Good Night Oregon.  Having been born in Hood River, OR, it was nice to have something so treasured - a remembrance of home . . .

Happy family memories for me are few and far between.  Divorced rocked our house when I was just two, and took us all years to get over.  My family, in the course of a night, became a 2 coast family. I saw very little of my mother, my grandmother, my sister and my aunt over the years.  Not because of not wanting to  - there are so many things that happened back then.  Only thing I remember is how much I've missed being out there.  The recent passing of my grandmother over a year ago reminded me of this. No one's to blame really.  It's just - sad. Those of us who are left behind in divorce's wake are the ones who must pick up the pieces.  We are the ones who must heal, forgive and learn to move on.

It's not always going to be easy.  Since my wife is from Mexico, we have both a multi-cultural and a multi-coastal family.  There's a big difference in the folks who have lived on the East Coast and those on the West. Pace of life, points of view, it's an interesting mix - if you're not aware of it, well it can cause issues even when both parties are of the same family.  On top of that add a second language, completely different culture, and you are never bored.

Folks in the PNW (Pacific Northwest where I was born) are descendants of pioneers.  Families who endured more hardship than I could ever know - unforeseen territory, the fear of the unknown and constant fear of Indians always present.  The independent, quiet nature of so many have passed down through generations . . .

Our family is one of those.  Meals are always important, conversations often tarry in the late hours of the night. Some nights they were stressful, talk of crop or problems at work.  Many were happy, slowly weaving the fabric of life into those conversations, good times spent and good food for all.

As time went one, they have become nonexistent.  Work and responsibility pull at all we do, and there doesn't seem to be enough time to do it all.  Summer has started, yet it seems few have noticed.  We go on with our daily routines as the days become warmer and longer.  That's why when they do happen, we embrace them, squeezing every last moment together.

Some of the most fun are the ones where we cook together.  A glass of wine, a hot oven, and a cool night blend together into the orchestral moments together.  One of my happier times was a Christmas visit to Arizona.  While there on business, I was able to spend time with my family on my mom's side.  We've never been able to be together as much as we've wanted. So when we do, we pack Christmas and birthday's together.

The picture below is from my last trip out there.  I've looked at it longingly so many times, wondering when the next one will be . .  .

Line and Verse

So I napped for a few hours in the afternoon and now it's midnight and I can't sleep.  Along with a cup of chamomile, I thought that maybe putting some thoughts down might help me relax.

There are moments which reach out and grab us - whether it's a song, movie, or something more. Something that stops you in your tracks and you simply must know what it is that's reached out and touched your inner core.

My most recent inspiration was the I-pad commercial. It's been with me - inspiring and motivating me every day since.  The audio is of Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, introducing the importance of poetry in human life. In the movie, he quotes the following section from Whitman's Leaves of Grass:

Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill'd with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (For who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew'd,
Of the poor results of all, all of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O Me! so sad, recurring - What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.

That you are here-that life exists and identity,

That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

For just a moment, savor that line. Close your eyes and see it, feel it . . . .

That the powerful play goes on and you will contribute a verse.

That single line reminds me of the importance of understanding who I am  To not only appreciate my uniqueness, but to also never stop learning and growing; and that by doing so, I'm fulfilling my God-given purpose in life . . .

To be myself.  

Such a simple concept, complicated by so many . . .

Salt and Light have no mouth, yet they speak volumes.  They utter no sounds but effect change wherever they are present.

That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.

What will your verse be?

The House that Love Built, well . . . - ya know

(Author's Note:  This piece is a little, well, cheeky.  A cold house is not the worst of anyone's problems, so I trust you know that while it's definitely frustrating , it's not the worse thing in the world :) )

I love this house.  And I hate this house.  Funny, how 2 emotions can run so deep that are so conflicting. Sometimes we are never content are we, reader?  The human race can be so fickle sometimes.

It seemed like yesterday we were so happy to be moving.  The seven of us packed into a two bedroom, two bath luxury apartment.  On top of that , there lived a neighbor below us who had no children and who did not understand the futility of attempting to keep a 3 year old from running in the house - well, an apartment. On the day of the showing, we stared with anticipation at the fireplace, imagining nights by the fire, sipping our hot drinks, talking until the wee hours in the morning.  Slightly over from there, a small room which I'd convert into an office.  Could it be we may actually purchase this place?

Within 24 hours of starting the move, we had finished unloading the truck.  Such was the anticipation and joy of finally having more open space that we could ever dream of.  Acres of yards for the children to play, pieces of land that were quietly plotted out for future gardening.  The kitchen and dining area hummed with activity as the summer came to a close.  Fall days came and went the lawn littered with leaves and the holidays filled with joy.  Expectations ran high and we talked and laughed as we finally could do so without repercussion.

It is important to know that the house itself was built in 1918 as an inlaw house to the a farm which traces its history back to revolutionary days.  I would have linked the picture to the site, but there's none on the web, and I'm sure the owner would think I'm stalking her . . . .

And then the winter came with a force so strong, so bitterly cold, it's as if it opened our door and made a space in our living room.  We burned wood in the fireplace, but over time wood because an expensive commodity and to make matters worse, didn't even heat the house.  Oil heat was even more expensive.  With the winter so cold, it made the small cramped apartment look like heaven - who would of thought?

There's nothing that could have prepares us for this kind of cold.  Even during the hottest days of August, the house seemed to be well insulated.  Electric bills were manageable and we lived together in happiness. However during these winter months, it all changed so quickly.  Dinners at home togethere were very few and far between.  Tempers were shortened and it seemed we got along less and less.

The cold came and stayed unlike anything we'd ever seen I can't tell you the desperate feeling of waking up to a house that is at 44 degrees.  Too cold to cook, too cold to take a shower, too cold to do anything.  No one wanted to get out out bed, because there were mornings when the cold literally shocked you. For a family who loves to cook, eat and just hang out and talk, this of course was our worst nightmare.  We went from being packed like sardines in an apartment to every one stuck in their respective bedrooms.  Seems like in one way or another we are still striving to fin the happy medium . . . .

Today is another snow day - with it coming this late in March, I'm hoping it's the last.  The kids just got new scooters yesterday from Uncle Fernando and are dying to take them outside.  With 8" of snow though, that's not going to happen today.  And although it's cold (25 outside and 53 inside) we are grateful once again to be together.  Mommy and Daddy work alot, so it's always nice when we can be together at home with Stephanie.  The joy she shows on her face is priceless.  And we understand that many are in a worse spot than we are.  So for us it's more of a source of pride, almost a badge if you will,  that we have endured such a harsh winter.

Which is why it's been so long since I've written.  That and another reason, which will come up in the next blog.  Since it's a little warmer today, it might even come out today . . . . . :)

Au revoir mis amis!