The Day Before

(An Older Post I never published.  Please forgive the chronological break).


So today was Kindergarten Orientation.  A day for your child and for you the parent to get to know your teacher and their school.  To get to know the program that is going to help you raise your child over the ensuing years . . . .

Overall it was a good experience.  The school, staff, teacher, everything - is great.  I can see though how hard it's going to be for Stephanie initially, which makes it harder for us her parents.  Even though she's had to learn two languages, Steph does a great job of communicating what she feels.  Like today, when she tells me how much she's going to miss me when she goes to school. Regardless of how much I console her, there's no changing that feeling for either one of us.

As I sat in the auditorium and heard all the names being read, I realized something.  My kid will not lack for cultural influence.  My heart went out to some of the newer teachers as they bravely fought through the names as they read the class lists.  I'm guessing compared to some, Stephanie is an easier name :)  But regardless of the culture or race, every parent was equally invested in their children.  It was amusing to see some of the fathers pointing out things, they'd like differently and remembered my father doing the same.

I'm excited to see how Steph will respond.  Right now, of course, she's nervous and shy, which I figured would happen.  While we've done what we could with our work schedules and what not, I've felt there's always been a small shortage of social interaction for her.  Cool thing though, is she has her mother's toughness and her pride, so the future simply waits for her and, as with any child, her opportunities are limitless.

As I began to get her supplies ready for tomorrow, my mind floated back to a similar experience 35 some years ago, to when I was a kid.  One of the few things I can remember about that time, is I was nervous too and felt so alone.  Not having the support at home made things that much harder.  I didn't know it at the time, but it makes life hard when there is a lack of unconditional love in the home.

Mary and I have worked very hard to ensure Stephy has grown in an environment where she is loved.  I can't wait to begin this journey with her . . . . .

An Autumn's Tale

Hello readers - well okay, all 2 of you: )  It's been quite a while since I've written.  The reality is, I've not had much to say, been enjoying life really.  Enjoying the first days of school for Stephanie, learning the ropes. Every time I get home, first words out of Stephy's mouth are "Can we do my homework now?"  Bless her heart, not her fault she doesn't know Daddy needs just a few moments to collect himself before hurtling into another project.  Totally didn't see that coming.  But I love it!

Everyone is working, separately but together, and we're all still adjusting to each other a little.  But it's worked out far better than I could've have ever imagined.  Wife is now working in the mornings and off at nigh, and life just got better.  So instead of blogging about life, I've been living it.  Well, okay, if you're really wanting an answer for my absence- Wordpress is to fault, really.  Tried moving the blogs there, but just couldn't get used to the feel or the look.  So I moved back to Blogger and here I'll stay.

It's not to say that the last few months have been completely easy. This past summer, I learned that our company was acquired by another.  Being a completely nostalgic noob, these last few months have been quite hard.  I've seen a company I've worked at and enjoyed thoroughly for the last eight years die a slow death.  People I'd worked along side of, argued with and even battled a little, respected and loved, disappear one by one.

And I hate it.  Being the company that is purchased is hard. Many corners, many rooms hold a significant amount of memories - I find myself pausing and reflecting alot lately .  Sure, I still come in and do the work, just like I've done these last eight years.  But it's at times like these that such memories ware heavy on my heart.

I remember the personal victories I've had here and the lessons learned.  I recall those who've moved on who have invested in me, and of course I'm grateful.  If I'm honest, though, I'm a little bitter and I'm working on it slowly.  I didn't ask for these changes, I was more than content enough for life to continue as it was.  So why do i have to find myself another job - now?  Crap.

I'll miss talking to the guys/girls in the morning, or reading the comics.  I'll miss playing the Christmas songs in our office, the laughing in the midst of the constant ebb and flow of work.  The smell of Keurig coffee coming around the corner, and the constant banter from now departed employees. Sigh. Change sucks.  I really hope though I can find a company that was as much fun.

But I am grateful, you know.  Grateful for all the good I have, including this job :)  Grateful for the memories, for the growth in my life.  Grateful for the opportunity to invest in others, and be invested in.  Grateful for all the opportunities I've received - and there were many.  Grateful for it all.

Not sure how to end this - there's no phrase that effectively sums up how I feel.  My heart is pretty heavy, and I'm sorry that this is a little dreary.  So rather than coming up with something clever, I'll just end it - for now.