The Big Five Oh

2021.  What a year.

It's 6:27 am and I've been soaking in the sounds of shea shanties, OTR, and several other old friends.  All while sipping another old friend, coffee :)

And now we're here in 2022, with another milestone (birthday) right around the proverbial corner.

50.

I'm recovering from my second bout of COVID as I write this. I'd be okay if I never got this again.

At some point, I suppose, someone can explain to me how you can get a sickness after having the vaccine.

And while I do understand that the vaccine does reduce the symptom's havoc (I can attest to this), it doesn't make it any easier.  

But for now, I am grateful. Grateful to be alive.  Grateful that this time around there was no hospital beds, no "I can't breathe moments." And more importantly, no $10K hospital bills to contend with.

Grateful.

As I come up on the big 5-0, I've thought a lot about time.  Seems that with children and grandchildren and jobs and fun and family (whew!), it all starts to run together.  And I've found myself reflecting more, pausing, soaking it all in. Or at least trying to.

Pausing, giving God thanks because the childhood I endured has culminated in this beautiful orchestra I call today.  

Here. 

Now.

Love abounds and where love lives, so does grace.  And to be honest, I don't know that I could be any happier, or life be fuller than what it is right now.

50.

Wow.

Seeing God's goodness, I can't say I am surprised.  But you have to admit. 50 years isn't too shabby.

With those years comes lessons learned, memories made, and my fair share of regret.

But most of all, gratefulness.

Humbling Transformation

Multnomah Falls - 1919 postcard

I've seen quiet a few comparisons between the current Covid-19 and the Spanish flu.  Both were difficult times, both required the wearing of masks and both brought significant amounts of, well, uncertainty.

As of today, September 26th, there is no cure, no vaccine.  There are some medicines which can help treat it, but no vaccine yet, a point which will be made ad nauseum I'm sure in the upcoming November election.

But I digress.

For a couple of months, I've wanted to share what's happened to me spiritually as a result of COVID.  My previous post briefly spoke of hospital stays and sickness.  What happened next was nothing short of a miracle.

Prayers were lifted and praises echoed upon my return to home.  In fact, a spiritual revival had swept through my house in April.  It is now September, and the revival grows.  What began as a little study now has six of us who study the word, many times exegetically when not watching the next "Chosen" series episode (currently in season I, season II is almost funded).  A weekly English class has now born out of our study, first class was this past Tuesday and our current enrollment is now three :)

All I can say is that God worked a miracle in me.  He forever changed my heart to Him.  In 2018, He allowed me to see myself for who I really was, then allowed me through COVID to see what I could be in Him.  He took every selfish desire I had away, and replaced it with something better.  For years, I had (sometimes) patiently waited for the "go" signal - that moment when I knew that I can return to my studies, passionately studying his Word, and then share some of my findings with others.

I tried to do this on my own.  I knew it was my calling, and many a time I tried to force it.  Yet every one of my feeble attempts ended in failure, and eventually I gave up hope.  When God touched me, it was as a fire had been lit in my soul.

I could have never imagined it would be in Spanish though.  All I can say is that my weak attempts at Spanish is again a gift of God.  Our group is so very patient with me as I fight through newer words, and my girls graciously correct me when I mispronounce a word.

I deserve none of this to be sure, but I give my all, each day begging him to take control and work through me.  This little progress I've seen is enough to last me a lifetime of praise, yet I know there's more to come.

If you asked me how and why, I couldn't really say.  I do not have any answers other than God decided it was time.  I'd hoped for these moments all my life (His pursuit of me, not COVID), and now that they have come not only to me but to my family, I find myself eternally grateful.  I can truly say this happened in God's time, and He receives all praise.

My life is dedicated 100% to Him and forever will be.  Work has seen its challenging moments, but I truly believe God is preparing me for something.  If I'm wrong, it's fine by me.  I am happier now than I could have ever imagined and to see my family walk with me in this journey is truly mind-blowing. 

To Him, and only to Him, be praise and glory forever and ever.  

Amen.

Shalom Sabbat